Mavis' Spatula
by Lorelai.lilith
Summary: A parody fic of a Spongebob episode. Can Lisanna prove to Mavis that she is fit to be her fry cook? Also, Makarov makes a huge bet!


Greetings to those reading this. This is going to be my fourth attempt at a parody fic which will be based around an early episode of the Spongebob cartoon with the characters of Fairy Tail instead. You may review as you like and I'll be checking in occasionally to make sure that it's corrected as much as possible. I hope those of you reading this will enjoy this as I've picked the characters that I thought would be best suited for the roles. There will be edits from the actual episode but it'll still be close enough. Enjoy the fic.

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><p><em><strong>"Mavis' Spatula"<strong>_

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><p>The day was very nice as many people were visiting a local museum dedicated to fry cooks a.k.a. The Fry Cook Museum named appropriately. Inside were all kinds of displays relating to the art for those to view and enjoy. Among the many guests were two young members from the guild Fairy Tail, known for it's special 'Fairy Patties' that many all around would come to enjoy. These two were the white-haired girl Lisanna Strauss and the pink-haired boy named Natsu Dragneel. "Ooo!" Lisanna says as she looks at a display. "Aah!" Natsu said just after her as he looked at the same display.<p>

"Ooh!" Lisanna gazes at another display. "Aah!" Natsu soon follows after her.

"Ooh!"

"Aah!"

"Ooh!"

"Aah!"

"Ooh!"

"Aah!"

This continues on for a while before getting to the most important exhibit. "There it is. The ultimate cooking utensil! The legendary Golden Spatula!" Lisanna exclaims as she and Natsu gaze at a massive bucket filled to overflowing with dried grease that had a golden spatula stuck to the top. Behind the display was a wooden staircase so that people could climb up and attempt to remove the spatula.

"Indeed it is. Check out this plaque." Natsu points to the plaque near the exhibit as he and Lisanna lean closer to it. "It says here that many have tried to pull this spatula from this ancient grease but all have failed." As he speaks a buff, white-hair man named Elfman Struass, Lisanna's older brother, walks up the steps and rubs his hands together before attempting to pull on the spatula. He grunts as he pulls as hard as he can but the spatula doesn't budge and instead he throws himself off the steps into a painful crash when his hands slip.

Lisanna finishes up the rest of the plaque "Only a fry cook worthy of serving the great Mavis herself is allowed to wield..." both she and Natsu look up to the spatula in awe as they finish together. "The Golden Spatula. Wow!" They stare in awe for a few moments before Lisanna gets excited and starts to bounce as she runs up the steps. "Natsu, get a picture of me next to the spatula!" she calls to which Natsu agrees and begins to use the camera he brought in with him. She then grabs onto the spatula and makes a pose. "Okay, ready when you are!"

"Hey boy, can you direct me to the menu exhibit?" Natsu turns to an elderly pink-haired woman named Porlyusica who asked him a question and seems to go brain dead as he tries to recall where it was. "Uhhhhh..." he droned while beginning to drool which made the woman wonder what was wrong with him. "The menu exhibit? That's easy. It's just over that way." Lisanna answers the question while pulling out the spatula and pointing it in the said direction. Wait, did she just pull out the spatula?

Soon, the spatula starts glowing brightly as storm clouds form above her, filling up the room even though they're inside. "That doesn't look too good..." Lisanna stares up at the clouds forming with a nervous expression. "HOLY SMOKES!" Porlyusica exclaims in a deep voice as she sees the clouds before fleeing the room. "Well she was rude..." Natsu snaps out of his daze before working his camera again. "What? When did the light change?" he was clearly oblivious to the situation at hand.

"Natsu..." Lisanna looks more nervous as lightning begins to flash. "Give me a minute I almost got it." Natsu now takes the picture as people start to gather in the room when they hear someone laughing. Soon the clouds part as a bright light shines through the opening, someone descending from the clouds into the room. It appeared to be a child-like woman with long blonde hair, pink robes and wings coming from her head. It was the great Mavis herself!

"Finally, at long last! Someone has appeared who is worthy of being my fry cook and has freed the spatula from the grease." She hovers in the air as the clothes disperse into the nothing. "So then, who has freed the spatula?" she looks over the crowd below her. "I did Mavis, I'm Lisanna Strauss." Lisanna holds up the spatula while Mavis turns to her and looks her over some before bursting into giggles. "That is a good joke young mortal."

Lisanna looks confused. "A joke?" she tilts her head while Mavis nods her own. "Yes, for you see you're nothing more but a lowly white-haired girl! Puny! Insignificant! A simple commoner and a female at that!" each word stabbed Lisanna in the chest like a knife as she looks hurt and upset while Mavis continues to chuckle. "Therefore, you can never possibly be my fry cook and that's why it's funny!" she finishes up as she descents to the floor and lands on her feet.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to seek out the real person that pulled out the spatula." she begins walking around the room as she looks at all the people gathered, figuring one of them had to be it while whispering her comments to herself. "Too short, too wide, too furry, no idea what that's supposed to be..." she settles her gaze on a beige-haired man named Max Alors who was pushing a hotdog cart and smiles as she approaches him.

"You there! A purveyor of foods is what you are. With your knowledge you must be my new fry cook then." Max looks confused and shakes his head. "Sorry Mavis, I don't make these myself I'm just the one who sells them." he replies, leaving Mavis looking confused. "Then who has freed out the spatula?" Max smiles and points. "It was her of course." Mavis turns back to Lisanna who is smiling eagerly back at her, waiting for her acknowledgement.

However, Mavis just laughs again as she still doesn't believe it. "That joke is even funnier the second time!" she exclaims as she swings her fist upon the hotdog cart, smashing it to pieces as she's much stronger then she looks for her size. Max looks horrified as she begins to wander again, this time pointing her finger at Elfman who was just recovered from his earlier failure. "You there!" Elfman looks up and over, looking confused. "Me?"

"Yes you. Your physique is like a vulcan's, large and powerful." Elfman grins and nods. "Thanks, I work out of course!" he then starts making poses to show off. Mavis nods in approval while watching. "There's no doubt then, you must be my new fry cook." Elfman shakes his head and points to his younger sister. "No, that's Lisanna." Mavis looks back to Lisanna who is still waiting for acknowledgement while holding onto the said spatula. Instead of laughing again though Mavis is losing her patience as she is now looking furious.

"This joke has gone on far enough!" she exclaims, making lightning flash as she yells. "Where is my new fry cook?" she demands, making everyone in the room flee in terror except for Lisanna and Natsu who Mavis decides to approach next. "You there. You look like someone who knows food very well so you must be my new fry cook." Natsu simply points up to Lisanna who is still on the exhibit, leaving Mavis more confused.

"What? You really expect me to think that this 'girl' he has the material to be a fry cook for me? Do you have any proof to back up your claim?" she asks while crossing her arms. Natsu then pulls out the picture he took earlier of Lisanna pulling out the spatula which Mavis looks at, seeming a bit surprised but still not willing to believe. "Give me a break, this girl isn't even fit to scrub my feet much less flip a burger for me to consume." She starts pacing as she holds up a finger.

"Besides, pulling the spatula from the greasy griddle isn't enough to prove one is worthy to be my fry cook. There also certain qualities that the fry cook must have to be worthy." Lisanna just watches Mavis walk around. "Qualities? Which ones?" Mavis pauses and scratches her chin. "Well... the fry cook fit to serve me must be... left-handed." she says with a smirk as she looks up to Lisanna.

"Left-handed? I got two to be precise." Lisanna holds up her hands, revealing them both to be left hands as she wiggles the fingers. She knew she was the fry cook and decided to use her Take Over magic if that's what it took to be convincing. Mavis snaps a finger and thinks off something else. "The fry cook fit to serve me must be wearing... red underwear!" Lisanna pulls up her underwear on one side to show it's red. "Now blue!" Lisanna pulls up blue underwear from the other side. Mavis groans slightly, looking a bit worried.

"The fry cook's wallet contains..." Lisanna pulls out her wallet as she waits to hear what it is. "The fry cook's big toes are..." Lisanna lifts of her shoe, ready to show her foot. Mavis was running out of ideas fast and getting a bit desperate to prove that Lisanna wasn't worthy. There was no way that girl could be her fry cook! "Um... they have six?" she finishes, while Natsu climbs onto the exhibit with Lisanna and looks angrily at Mavis.

"Now you look here Mavis. Lisanna pulled out that spatula which means she's your new fry cook so..." Mavis glares at him and hovers in the air once more as she holds out her hand. "SILENCE!" she interrupts him by zapping him with a beam of powerful magic, leaving him looking black and smoking while Lisanna jumps in surprise. "Wow... is it hot in here or what..." Natsu mumbles before falling off the exhibit to the floor.

"Natsu!" Lisanna gasps, looking horrified at what just happened before glaring up at Mavis. "You just hurt my friend. You're not so great at all, you're just a childish bully!" she squeals as she gets grabbed by a large hand, belonging to Mavis who made herself much larger now as she brings the small girl up to her face. "So, you really think you are fit to serve me? I'll just have to show you how worthless you really are. I'm going to test you with a challenge!"

"Bring it on Wing-head!" Lisanna and Mavis look down to Natsu who's laying on the ground but still conscious. "Lisanna can handle anything, even your simple challenge so..." he stops as he gets zapped by another beam, looking worse then before and in more pain. "Ouch..." Mavis turns her attention back to Lisanna. "Your friend's arrogance just worsened your position. Now it'll be two challenges!" she holds up two fingers to empathize this.

"Two challenges? Please, what are two challenges to Lisanna..." Natsu begins again to once again be zapped by Mavis once more. Lisanna looks worried at him, silently begging him to just stay down but knowing Natsu he wasn't going to back down even if it was Mavis he was talking too. "Now that makes it three challenges!" Mavis holds up three fingers.

"Ha! Only three challenges? That's nothing! If you want to be really serious then make it... 500 challenges!" Mavis growls as she zaps him with a blast of magic much stronger then her previous ones. "ENOUGH!" After this Natsu is nothing more but a dust pile on the floor making his outline. "We'll settle for one..." he says weakly, having lost his strength now.

"There shall be but one challenge." Mavis goes back to her original point while holding up one finger. "You will face me in... THE ULTIMATE COOK-OFF!" she declares to which Lisanna nods. "I'll accept that challenge but only if you'll heal my friend." she points to what little remained of Natsu and Mavis nods. "Yes, the dim one. I'll restore him good as new." she fires out another magic beam that zaps Natsu and restores him back to normal.

Natsu groans as he gets up. "Lisanna? Lisanna!" He turns around and smiles. "Oh there you are." he looked good as new except for the fact that his face was now on his stomach, a mess up on Mavis' part but he seemed to be okay so it would be good for now. "Hi Natsu. Are you feeling okay?" Lisanna asks as she's put back on the ground after Mavis changes back to her normal size. "I feel great! Though have you gotten taller?" Natsu asks, oblivious to his current condition.

"Now then, since you're brave enough to challenge me I shall offer you a great reward if you do manage to beat me in the challenge. Something to look forward to I assure you." Mavis fires off a beam of magic that summons some more clouds against a wall, creating a swirling pattern as she grabs them with her hands. "Now behold!" She opens up the cloud, showing the black mage Zeref in the middle of a shower. He starts panicking when he realizes that he's being peeped on, making Mavis close up the clouds.

"Heh, Oopsie..." she chuckles weakly and opens the clouds again, showing an island with a massive tree on top of it. "Ah, now behold! My grand home of Tenrou Island, a great prize that very few see, much less are offered. You'll be allowed to reside here with me and cook only for me. Also as a bonus you shall be blessed with my power and be as powerful as I am." Natsu grins after hearing the explanation. "That sounds like a great deal Lisanna!"

"However, if you fail though then you shall never be allowed to fry cook again!" Mavis puts on a composed expression as she crosses her arms. "Do you agree to those conditions?" Lisanna thinks for a more before looking determined. "I accept!" Mavis nods in acknowledgement. "Very well. Now, to the arena!" she shouts as she holds out both arms, hair going frizzy as she releases magic electricity.

**0o0o0o0o0**

In a flash Lisanna and Natsu were transported to a huge arena, filled to the brim with eager spectators cheering for the upcoming food fight between Mavis and Lisanna. The two competitors were standing in the center of a wrestling ring as their ground for competing. Lisanna's guild Fairy Tail had an up close seat and was cheering for her like mad while she was looking a bit nervous herself. Okay, a lot nervous.

"Welcome to THE ULTIMATE COOK-OFF!" the announcer was the short elderly man Makarov Dreyar that served as the master of Fairy Tail and the announcer of the event. "Alright you two, the one rule is simple. First to make 1000 patties wins and anything goes. Now shake hands." Lisanna and Mavis approach each other and shake hands, during which Mavis zaps Lisanna's hand with her magic, leaving her whole arm black and smoking like Natsu was earlier. "M-May the better girl win..." Lisanna says weakly with her arm in pain.

"Now go back to your corners and when the bell sounds you may start." Makarov approaches Lisanna and smiles. "Don't worry girl, I have complete faith in you to succeed." This act of encouragement was quickly thrown out the window as Makarov dashes over to the betting stall, currently being worked by the young woman Cana Alberona and surprises her as he shoves a massive amount of Jewels into her window. "I bet it all on Mavis! he shouts. Who was he kidding? He did have faith in Lisanna but fact was no one can stand up to Mavis.

Lisanna was also considering this fact herself as she sat in her corner looking worried while Natsu was massaging her shoulders to get her ready, his face still on his stomach. "Natsu, I don't think I can do this. I really should've have accepted this challenge." she sighs, looking the same as she felt. "Hey, you just do your best! Everyone is rooting for you so it doesn't matter what the outcome is. I know personally that you can show up that Wing-head so prove it to her yourself." Lisanna smiles a bit as Natsu's encouragement works.

The bell rings and Lisanna stands up, determined to show her worth. "Go get her Lisanna!" Natsu cheers. The two competitors stand in the center for a moment, some mental preparation before getting things going. Mavis has a serious look on her face, clearly not going to go easily on Lisanna and shows this during her first move. With a hand extended outward she raises it up slowly as the ground trembles, a crack developing in front of her as wheat instantly sprouts upward from it and with a zap from the same magic beam she toasted Natsu with she turns the wheat into fresh buns. Lisanna simply counters this by pulling out a fresh bag of buns.

Using some more hand motions, Mavis targets the various vegetables set up in the grounds for easy access among other stuff and makes hundreds up them levitate in the air above her like a swarm of bees. Then out of nowhere many swords appear also under Mavis' control as she directs them to fly into the swarm, turning all the vegetables into neat slices that fall into perfect little piles as they drop onto a table. Lisanna is currently looking over a single tomato, measuring everything carefully before finally making a cut that looks nice.

Now Mavis has many of the meat patties directly in front her on a grill and with a zap from her commonly used magic beam she cooks them all perfectly in seconds. Followed with a wave of her hand, she makes all the patties flip themselves so that she can grill the other side. During this action Lisanna makes a small campfire by hand and sets up a frying pan over it where she works on a single patty, flipping it as the time comes. Everything is set and now for the final touch, Mavis slams both fists down and the shock sends all over her prepared ingredients into the air.

As they fall back down the pieces arrange themselves into burgers as they fall down into a neat pile. Mavis is now holding her hand up and laughing as her part of the scoreboard overhead has numbers flowing upward like made, working it's way up to 1000. Lisanna is now assembling her prepared ingredients for her first burger and has the patty on the bottom bun. She sticks two pickles on top and makes smiley faces on them with ketchup before putting a slice of cheese over them like a blanket as if tucking a child into bed.

She smiles and gives it a kiss before pulling out a book and begins reading a bedtime story to it like a child now. Mavis continues laughing as her pile nears completion, all the burgers forming into a large pyramid in her corner just as Lisanna finishes her first burger by placing the top bun on it. "Perfect." she says while the scoreboard overhead reads 1000 to 0001, clearly making Mavis the winner. "Ha! As I knew, I am the victor!" Mavis cries as the crowd cheers wildly at her success as much as her good show. Lisanna simply looks down in shame as she realizes she lost and will have to give up making burgers now.

"Well, it seems you're not worthy after all just as I saw it." Mavis smirks at Lisanna before holding out her arms. "Now then, free burgers for everyone!" Her pile divides itself as all the burgers start flying out to the spectators for them to enjoy as they all eagerly bite into the burgers. A few seconds of chewing followed by a pause leads them all to spitting out their burgers in disgust. The burgers tasted horrible and Mavis simply looks ticked off as she watches everyone rejecting the food she made.

"Don't you fools have a proper sense of taste! There's nothing wrong with my burgers, they're perfect!" she picks up one and sniffs it, reeling back as she finds the smell unpleasant but the crowd was now angry and started chanting for her to eat one so she can realize how bad it was. "Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!" Mavis swallows and starts to move the burger toward her mouth with a trembling hand before throwing the wretched thing onto the ground with a splat as she loses her cool.

"Okay! So mine are horrible, that I can accept." she then walks over to Lisanna who's holding onto a plate with her single burger on it. "But what makes you think hers could possibly be better then mine? Give me that!" she swipes the burger Lisanna made and shoves the whole thing into her mouth in one go, chewing on it angrily. But as she chews on it her expression softens until she's now smiling. "This tastes so good! So good, that I want to try it a second time!" she then spits out the burger which returns to her hand as it was before it was chewed and then shoves it into her mouth again.

This action leads to the entire crowd being grossed out, many of them having to hold back the urge to vomit at the sight. Lisanna cheers up as she sees Mavis enjoying the burger that she made. "So you really do like it?" Mavis nods, taking a bow to Lisanna. "Yours is superior much as it surprises me. You really are worthy and thus I name you the winner of this match and my new fry cook." The crowd cheers once more while Lisanna and Natsu dance happily while holding hands. "We're going to Tenrou Island. We're going to Tenrou Island." they sang.

However they stop when Mavis starts laughing for no apparent reason, leaving them curious as Lisanna decides to bite the situation. "Why are you laughing? What's so funny?" Mavis wipes off a tear and smiles to Lisanna. "You're what's funny Lisanna!" she then points to Natsu. "That repulsive thing on my island? Unacceptable! Besides the reward is meant for you if you beat me and only you." Lisanna looks shocked at Mavis' explanation. "You mean Natsu can't come with me nor anyone else from my guild?"

Mavis nods. "That's right. All you'll need is me and the supplies that you'll be using to make me my burgers from now on as my new fry cook. Now's the time to say your final goodbyes then we'll depart." Natsu pulls out a tissue and starts wiping his eyes. "Well Lisanna, congrats. You got do what you've earned and hopefully we'll meet again." Lisanna can only watch him as he departs crying. Same with her guild members now shedding tears whether they wanted her to go or now. Even Makarov was crying though it was partially because he just lost a lot of money from his bet. She couldn't leave everyone behind!

"Come on Lisanna the time has come to depart to Tenrou Island!" Mavis fires off her magic beam with summons a two-seated bicycle. She gets on the first seat and motions for Lisanna to get onto the seat behind her. Lisanna however breaks into sobs instead. "I... I don't want to go! I don't want to leave behind everything even if the offer is great! If my best friend and my guild can't come then I'm not going!" she finishes as she grows determined. Mavis however wasn't going to let her get away now.

"It's too late to refuse now! Your burgers are so tasty that I can't live without them! Besides I also said you're going to be made as powerful as me and you're going to love that!" she then fires off her magic beam to zap Lisanna, blessing her with great power. After the zapping was done though it shows that Lisanna was in the same outfit as Mavis and also had wings on her head. Mavis stares at her for a moment before looking embarrassed at what she had done. "Well... this is a problem after all. Now what do we do?"

Lisanna is suddenly hit with an idea and smiles. "Mavis, I've just got an idea that can help out both of us. This way you get the burgers you want and I get to stay home." She then holds out her arms and releasing the same magic electricity from before as she uses her new found powers to fulfill her idea.

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"Good morning everyone!" Natsu says cheerfully as he enters the Fairy Tail guild, still having his face on his stomach as he never got fix but no one seemed to mind it at all as they returned his greeting. He then approaches the Lisanna who is now back to her normal self and working on serving some customers. "Good morning Natsu! What should I get you today?" Natsu starts to think about this then drops into is stupid state while in deep thought. "Uhhhhh..." he drones while drooling as Lisanna waits for him to answer.

Suddenly there's a cry of pain that catches Lisanna's attention. "Oh, please excuse me for a moment." she walks to the back and enters the kitchen where she sees Mavis sucking on her finger. That's right, Lisanna's idea was to teach the great Mavis how to make her burgers properly so that they were edible and tasty which lead to her being trained under Lisanna. However it wasn't exactly an easy road for her.

"This accused stove has burnt my finger!" she glares angrily at the stove before her. "Feel my wraith stove!" she laughs as she zaps the stove with her magic beam but soon stops when Lisanna coughs to make her realizes she's there. "What did I tell you about using magic while cooking, trainee?" Mavis flinches at that word, finding it hard to get used to serving under a mere mortal girl. "Um... perfect patties are made with love, not magic." she answers.

Lisanna nods, smiling. "Exactly." To summarize, Mavis didn't put any love into her burgers which was why they tasted horrible during the match. If she can learn to show love in her cooking then her burgers would be perfect too. Just goes to show even high beings aren't perfect.

**_The End_**

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><p>That ends my fourth parody fic. To clear up some stuff the title of the spongebob episode was 'Neptune's Spatula' so you can look it up on Bing and find it if you want to watch it. Another thing to note was that burgers and patties are the same thing so yes I used both terms throughout the fic but that shouldn't be a probably. Finally, for character selection...<p>

Lisanna: Wanted to make her the main character here and figured she could also be a good server like Mirajane.

Natsu: Wanted him to get zapped by Mavis.^^

Mavis: She's the closest one in the series to being a god in my opinion. Wouldn't have been able to make this fic without her so she was the key piece. Plus it was fun making her act high and mighty.

Elfman, Max, Cana, Makarov, Porlyusica: Many random additions to move along the story. I believe they all fit into their roles pretty nicely. Also wanted to make Porlyusica say 'Holy Smokes!' ^^

That summarizes this fic. This fic also goes out to Assault Godzilla, an author who asked me to put Mavis into one of my fics. Thanks for taking you time reading and tell me what you think if you well.^^


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